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Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Friday, November 27, 2009
Happy Thanksgiving!
I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving!! Bill the boys and I had a very relaxing morning and then went up to La Center WA to spend time with Bills family. We always love going up there-great food and family!!
Bill and I both have the rest of the weekend off of work. It's so nice to be home together. We were able to sleep in a little, watch a movie and then cleaned the house so the rest of the weekend can be spent relaxing! Yay!
We were also able to get a little Christmas decorating in today-but NO shopping. I think I've only gone shopping on Black Friday once. It was a couple years ago when Bill received a nice Christmas bonus-and Bill and I spent the whole day together shopping. It was actually really fun but oh so tiring! The last couple of years has been a little more difficult financially so the shopping thing is out of the picture. That's OK...I'd rather not deal with the crowds anyway. :)
Bill and I both have the rest of the weekend off of work. It's so nice to be home together. We were able to sleep in a little, watch a movie and then cleaned the house so the rest of the weekend can be spent relaxing! Yay!
We were also able to get a little Christmas decorating in today-but NO shopping. I think I've only gone shopping on Black Friday once. It was a couple years ago when Bill received a nice Christmas bonus-and Bill and I spent the whole day together shopping. It was actually really fun but oh so tiring! The last couple of years has been a little more difficult financially so the shopping thing is out of the picture. That's OK...I'd rather not deal with the crowds anyway. :)
Friday, November 13, 2009
Ok...I guess I'll update this blog. :)
It's been an eventful last couple months! In September the kids went back to school. Brady is in Jr. High now-I still cant believe I have a Jr.Higher and he will be 13 next month!!!! A teenager too? Wow!! He completed another season of football-still our favorite sport! This season was fun and better than last. They had a 2 and 6 season-which was way better than our 0 and 8 season last year!! The kids improved so much and all had so much fun. About halfway through the season Brady ended up in the hospital for a couple days though. He got a cold and when he gets colds his asthma acts up. We've dealt with this for 12 years and nothing seemed out of the ordinary....also, I hesitated taking him to the doctor because at that time we did not have health insurance. But when he was so winded he could barely walk or talk, I took him to the dr and they ended up calling for an ambulance to transport him to Emanuel Hospital in Portland. Thank goodness he didnt have pneumonia but he did end up and air pocket between his lungs and sternum. That was kinda scary but I guess it just resolved itself. Brady actually enjoyed his hospital stay. He loved having the nurses and parents attending to his every need. :) But after two days he improved enough to go home. Then exactly one month later he got H1N1. I thought the timing was weird and I'm really hoping this isnt starting a trend of being sick once a month like that. :) Plus, his brothers-although worried about him when he's sick-might get tired of doing Brady's chores around the house!
Riley and Elliot are both doing well too. Riley is in 6th grade now and Elliot is in 2nd and both are doing well. Thankfully, their lives are more uneventful than Brady's. Their lives lately has been school, legos, x-box, friends etc.
As for me, I am back to work. I actually got my old job back at DHS. I've been back since October 9th and there have been a lot of changes in the last 10 months but it still really feels like I never left. The best thing is that we now have insurance! The three months between my 911 job and DHS were a roller coaster for me but I am so very thankful that I had those three months to recoup. Even though the 911 job didnt work out-It was a great job but I know it just wasnt the right fit for me. I did get to meet some wonderful people and learned a lot of valuable information while I was there. It was such a great experience!
It's been an eventful last couple months! In September the kids went back to school. Brady is in Jr. High now-I still cant believe I have a Jr.Higher and he will be 13 next month!!!! A teenager too? Wow!! He completed another season of football-still our favorite sport! This season was fun and better than last. They had a 2 and 6 season-which was way better than our 0 and 8 season last year!! The kids improved so much and all had so much fun. About halfway through the season Brady ended up in the hospital for a couple days though. He got a cold and when he gets colds his asthma acts up. We've dealt with this for 12 years and nothing seemed out of the ordinary....also, I hesitated taking him to the doctor because at that time we did not have health insurance. But when he was so winded he could barely walk or talk, I took him to the dr and they ended up calling for an ambulance to transport him to Emanuel Hospital in Portland. Thank goodness he didnt have pneumonia but he did end up and air pocket between his lungs and sternum. That was kinda scary but I guess it just resolved itself. Brady actually enjoyed his hospital stay. He loved having the nurses and parents attending to his every need. :) But after two days he improved enough to go home. Then exactly one month later he got H1N1. I thought the timing was weird and I'm really hoping this isnt starting a trend of being sick once a month like that. :) Plus, his brothers-although worried about him when he's sick-might get tired of doing Brady's chores around the house!
Riley and Elliot are both doing well too. Riley is in 6th grade now and Elliot is in 2nd and both are doing well. Thankfully, their lives are more uneventful than Brady's. Their lives lately has been school, legos, x-box, friends etc.
As for me, I am back to work. I actually got my old job back at DHS. I've been back since October 9th and there have been a lot of changes in the last 10 months but it still really feels like I never left. The best thing is that we now have insurance! The three months between my 911 job and DHS were a roller coaster for me but I am so very thankful that I had those three months to recoup. Even though the 911 job didnt work out-It was a great job but I know it just wasnt the right fit for me. I did get to meet some wonderful people and learned a lot of valuable information while I was there. It was such a great experience!
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Idle Time is NO good!
The first two weeks of me not working-I did great. Organized my house, had a yard sale and got to go camping with two girlfriends from work. I had so much fun!!
The day after I got back from camping I hit a major low......I'm 3 days into it now. It's been so long that I've felt this way and I really don't like it. The first day was OK-I laid in bed and watched re-runs of Little House on the Prairie. Those are the best.
ANYWAY,
I keep wondering if I did the right thing. It's better for my family is what I keep hearing-this job is hard on families and friends. I liked the job-well, most of it. I loved the people I worked with-I tend to get attached easily to people which is probably one of the reasons why I'm having a hard time. I feel like I failed. I have never failed at a job. I usually do good at things-what happened? Maybe if I would have asked for a couple weeks off and got back on my anxiety meds things would have been OK? And, by the way, what was with that anxiety anyway? Where in the world did it come from? NEVER have I had an issue with it like I did at this job----it wasn't the nature of the job that made me anxious-but the training aspect of it. Weird.
So, anyway, these thoughts and more have been going through my mind over the last few days. I think I could have made it-just needed more time? Did I make the wrong decision? Doesn't matter anyway since I cant take it back. Ugh. I need peace. I need to know I did the right thing and need to be able to forgive myself if I didn't.
The day after I got back from camping I hit a major low......I'm 3 days into it now. It's been so long that I've felt this way and I really don't like it. The first day was OK-I laid in bed and watched re-runs of Little House on the Prairie. Those are the best.
ANYWAY,
I keep wondering if I did the right thing. It's better for my family is what I keep hearing-this job is hard on families and friends. I liked the job-well, most of it. I loved the people I worked with-I tend to get attached easily to people which is probably one of the reasons why I'm having a hard time. I feel like I failed. I have never failed at a job. I usually do good at things-what happened? Maybe if I would have asked for a couple weeks off and got back on my anxiety meds things would have been OK? And, by the way, what was with that anxiety anyway? Where in the world did it come from? NEVER have I had an issue with it like I did at this job----it wasn't the nature of the job that made me anxious-but the training aspect of it. Weird.
So, anyway, these thoughts and more have been going through my mind over the last few days. I think I could have made it-just needed more time? Did I make the wrong decision? Doesn't matter anyway since I cant take it back. Ugh. I need peace. I need to know I did the right thing and need to be able to forgive myself if I didn't.
Saturday, August 8, 2009
Disappointment
So, I thought I should FINALLY put an update on here. Lots has happened since the last time I updated and I might as well put it out there.
Right now I am officially a stay-at-home mom (until I can find another job). I actually love being home with my kids. It seems our household runs better and is more organized with me home all the time. Since I stopped working I've been able to clean and organize our rooms and this weekend we are even holding a garage sale! I painted Elliots bedroom from a seahawks theme to blue paint with a cute sports border. I made myself a goal that I would do that no matter what....so last week, while it was a chilly 107 degrees outside, I cleaned out and painted Elliots room! Yes, I was a bit crazy! I wanted to get it done though and I did. I swear I could have lost about 10 pounds of sweat! Oh, did I tell you, we dont have air conditioning?
I guess I should write about my job and why I'm no longer working. I really like that job-or most parts of it. There were some areas that I was good in and then there were other areas that I was struggling in for WAY too long. I'm not sure why and I find myself very disappointed in myself because in the past, every job I've had I've always done well at. Also, I was having some MAJOR anxiety issues! In the past during certain things I would get nervous but nothing like I was having with this job. My stomach was often upset, I would be shaky and even started having chest pains. This job totally consumed my life. Even on my days off I would think and worry about the job. I knew things werent going well, and one Thursday, I pulled into work and saw my two supervisors cars and my trainers car there already. I had that sick feeling I was often getting while thinking of workp-this time it was even worse. I knew when I walked in they would all be in a meeting with the Operations Manager. I went to my console and started getting ready for my shift and after a few minutes they all came out.....then it was my turn. He asked to see me for a couple of minutes and when I sat down he asked how I was doing and feeling about how things were going. I couldnt talk and broke down.....I was so determined not to cry but I couldnt help it. We talked for about an hour and came up with a plan. I was going to take a couple of administrative days off and think about whether or not I want to come back-if I did, I had two weeks to get to where I need to be. I decided to go back on Saturday-my anxiety was so bad I almost didnt make it through the day but I finished my whole shift. The next morning we went to church and things got much worse-my chest was so tight, I could hardly take a deep breath, I couldnt talk or else I'd break down again-my stomach hurt really bad and I was shaky again. So, Bill and I talked and we decided I couldnt do this anymore. It wasnt really worth my health. I really dont regret leaving, but I do regret not being able to do the job. I wanted to succeed -it's a cool job. I also dont understand where this anxiety reaction came from?! It's not me.
Anyway, now that I'm not working I feel back to normal. I do think I made the right decision-now we just have to figure out what to do. Unless Bill were to cash out his 401K, we cant live on only one income. I need to find a job-but am not feeling so motivated to do so. I really like being home and the boys like it too....in fact, they want me to homeschool them-which I am totally up for if I knew I was going to stay home all the time. We need some guidance-should we try and sell our house? Is there anything else we can do so I can stay home? If you could be praying with and for us we would really appreciate it!
Now, I need to get ready for another day of our garage sale!!
Right now I am officially a stay-at-home mom (until I can find another job). I actually love being home with my kids. It seems our household runs better and is more organized with me home all the time. Since I stopped working I've been able to clean and organize our rooms and this weekend we are even holding a garage sale! I painted Elliots bedroom from a seahawks theme to blue paint with a cute sports border. I made myself a goal that I would do that no matter what....so last week, while it was a chilly 107 degrees outside, I cleaned out and painted Elliots room! Yes, I was a bit crazy! I wanted to get it done though and I did. I swear I could have lost about 10 pounds of sweat! Oh, did I tell you, we dont have air conditioning?
I guess I should write about my job and why I'm no longer working. I really like that job-or most parts of it. There were some areas that I was good in and then there were other areas that I was struggling in for WAY too long. I'm not sure why and I find myself very disappointed in myself because in the past, every job I've had I've always done well at. Also, I was having some MAJOR anxiety issues! In the past during certain things I would get nervous but nothing like I was having with this job. My stomach was often upset, I would be shaky and even started having chest pains. This job totally consumed my life. Even on my days off I would think and worry about the job. I knew things werent going well, and one Thursday, I pulled into work and saw my two supervisors cars and my trainers car there already. I had that sick feeling I was often getting while thinking of workp-this time it was even worse. I knew when I walked in they would all be in a meeting with the Operations Manager. I went to my console and started getting ready for my shift and after a few minutes they all came out.....then it was my turn. He asked to see me for a couple of minutes and when I sat down he asked how I was doing and feeling about how things were going. I couldnt talk and broke down.....I was so determined not to cry but I couldnt help it. We talked for about an hour and came up with a plan. I was going to take a couple of administrative days off and think about whether or not I want to come back-if I did, I had two weeks to get to where I need to be. I decided to go back on Saturday-my anxiety was so bad I almost didnt make it through the day but I finished my whole shift. The next morning we went to church and things got much worse-my chest was so tight, I could hardly take a deep breath, I couldnt talk or else I'd break down again-my stomach hurt really bad and I was shaky again. So, Bill and I talked and we decided I couldnt do this anymore. It wasnt really worth my health. I really dont regret leaving, but I do regret not being able to do the job. I wanted to succeed -it's a cool job. I also dont understand where this anxiety reaction came from?! It's not me.
Anyway, now that I'm not working I feel back to normal. I do think I made the right decision-now we just have to figure out what to do. Unless Bill were to cash out his 401K, we cant live on only one income. I need to find a job-but am not feeling so motivated to do so. I really like being home and the boys like it too....in fact, they want me to homeschool them-which I am totally up for if I knew I was going to stay home all the time. We need some guidance-should we try and sell our house? Is there anything else we can do so I can stay home? If you could be praying with and for us we would really appreciate it!
Now, I need to get ready for another day of our garage sale!!
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Trusting God
I havent forgotten about my blog...I was just hoping to have some pictures to post-but I ran over my camera in June-yep, ran over it! I was leaving for my third week at Academy on a Sunday afternoon and while I was backing up, I felt a thump. I was worried that it might have been a small animal or some sort of toy so I got out and went to the back of my van to see.....nothing. So, because I'm so smart, pulled my van up-felt another thump. Looked under the van again and still, nothing! So, once more.....because I'm so smart....backed up all the way, and now could see my camera had been under the front passenger tire!!!! Ugh. It was in its holder so it actually doesnt look so bad, but if you look closely, it doesnt look so good. I wonder if there is actually a camera repairman somewhere?
I have taken some pictures of lots of things with my moms new awesome camera, but we havent downloaded them yet. Some of the pictures are.....my Academy graduation, the boys rock climbing at our gym here in St.Helens, our visit from my Aunt and Uncle from Maine-and more...I just cant remember!!
Things are going ok......kinda. I feel like both our jobs are in limbo. Not sure what God's plan in all this but both Bill and I are experiencing Gods peace right now. I wonder if God is just trying to get our attention or maybe He has something different planned for us?? The waiting and not knowing part is soooo hard! I have to keep reminding myself that His timing is perfect...His ways are not my ways and everything is beautiful in His time. We are trusting Him now.
I will try and get some pictures downloaded soon so I can post them.
I have taken some pictures of lots of things with my moms new awesome camera, but we havent downloaded them yet. Some of the pictures are.....my Academy graduation, the boys rock climbing at our gym here in St.Helens, our visit from my Aunt and Uncle from Maine-and more...I just cant remember!!
Things are going ok......kinda. I feel like both our jobs are in limbo. Not sure what God's plan in all this but both Bill and I are experiencing Gods peace right now. I wonder if God is just trying to get our attention or maybe He has something different planned for us?? The waiting and not knowing part is soooo hard! I have to keep reminding myself that His timing is perfect...His ways are not my ways and everything is beautiful in His time. We are trusting Him now.
I will try and get some pictures downloaded soon so I can post them.
Saturday, June 6, 2009
Another update
Brady Riley and Elliot
Riley's birthday party
Riley with the swine flu!
Yep, he really had it!! 
Elliot on firstI know it's been a while since I've posted anything so I thought I'd do a quick update. Things are going well right now. Riley has recovered from H1N1 and is doing great. Brady has not had much of a problem with his Asthma lately and Elliot is just Elliot. :)
Riley turned 11 on June 1st. I cant believe he's that old already. What a great kid. I am so proud of him and love being his mom! Today he had a birthday party at our park here in St.Helens. There were about 20 kids that showed up and they played a few games of capture the flag and snake in the grass (not sure how that one is played). We all had a lot of fun and the weather was perfect. Not too hot or cold and no rain.
Speaking of rain, last Thursday we had an amazing storm. Well, were I was there was an amazing storm. I've been in Salem for police academy to get my certification for my job. I go back tomorrow for a week and then the following week I'm only there for a few days. I'm actually enjoying my time there even though I have to be in uniform and we have to march a little. Anyway, back to the storm. I really wish I could have taken some pictures. It was so raining and windy. There were about 250 lightning strikes and a tornado warning. I guess 10 minutes from where I was, there was an actual tornado. It was so cool!! Our power went out for a short time, but our class kept going. St.Helens did not get hit very hard at all-but baseball games still got canceled.
So, at academy, I've been learning so much. From Criminal law to Oregon Motor Vehicle Code to Ethics and more. Anyway, it's very interesting and I like it but am missing being at work.
The boys have 4 more days left of school. They are all so excited to be out!! Brady earned the presidential fitness award. We are so proud of him and I know he is proud too. His ceremony is on the 12th, but unfortunately I dont get to go. That's my graduation day from academy. I'm bummed about that. Anyway, here are some pictures of the kids. Hope this finds you all well.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
The Flu!
Remember when the Swine Flu first came out? I just rolled my eyes and didn't take it seriously because the media tends to make things way out of proportion......(which I still believe they do)
Anyway, last Wednesday, Riley woke up with a 104 fever and his legs and arms were numb. Weird. The day before his left thigh hurt really bad---so when he woke up the next morning with that fever-I knew something was wrong. My mind went to the worst case-like cancer-but didn't think anything of the flu until the Dr mentioned he could possibly have Swine flu! I kinda laughed at her not knowing if she was serious or not, but she was. He needed to be tested right away. It took 3 of us to hold him down. It was horrible. They had a big syringe filled with water and a long flexible tube attached to the syringe which had to be stuck way up his nose and then the water pushed up and then sucked back out again. Yuck!! Poor guy, I felt so bad for him. The Dr told us the results would be back in 48 hours, but not 6 hours later, the Dr called us and he tested positive for Influenza A, but they needed to send a sample out to test for H1N1 aka swine flu. We had to go back and do the test again!! Poor Riley. It was worse the 2ND time around since he already knew what to expect. I really didn't think that test would come back positive---but Friday afternoon, the lab called and said he was positive! My child had Swine Flu! Oh my goodness-I could not believe it! It's been weird. I had to contact the school to let them know and we've already had a couple of calls from the heath department. Still cant believe it!!
I think his fever has possibly broken today. He woke up with 102 fever and now it is down and he is really clammy like. I'm thinking maybe we might be out of this now? He has developed a nasty cough as have I but I'm thinking with no fever it might be OK.
We cant send him back to school for a while, and they want us to keep Elliot home too. Not sure if we will keep Brady home or not since he was gone all last week for Outdoor School. All of us are on the Swine Flu medicine-so hopefully that will prevent anyone else from getting sick!!
Anyway, last Wednesday, Riley woke up with a 104 fever and his legs and arms were numb. Weird. The day before his left thigh hurt really bad---so when he woke up the next morning with that fever-I knew something was wrong. My mind went to the worst case-like cancer-but didn't think anything of the flu until the Dr mentioned he could possibly have Swine flu! I kinda laughed at her not knowing if she was serious or not, but she was. He needed to be tested right away. It took 3 of us to hold him down. It was horrible. They had a big syringe filled with water and a long flexible tube attached to the syringe which had to be stuck way up his nose and then the water pushed up and then sucked back out again. Yuck!! Poor guy, I felt so bad for him. The Dr told us the results would be back in 48 hours, but not 6 hours later, the Dr called us and he tested positive for Influenza A, but they needed to send a sample out to test for H1N1 aka swine flu. We had to go back and do the test again!! Poor Riley. It was worse the 2ND time around since he already knew what to expect. I really didn't think that test would come back positive---but Friday afternoon, the lab called and said he was positive! My child had Swine Flu! Oh my goodness-I could not believe it! It's been weird. I had to contact the school to let them know and we've already had a couple of calls from the heath department. Still cant believe it!!
I think his fever has possibly broken today. He woke up with 102 fever and now it is down and he is really clammy like. I'm thinking maybe we might be out of this now? He has developed a nasty cough as have I but I'm thinking with no fever it might be OK.
We cant send him back to school for a while, and they want us to keep Elliot home too. Not sure if we will keep Brady home or not since he was gone all last week for Outdoor School. All of us are on the Swine Flu medicine-so hopefully that will prevent anyone else from getting sick!!
Friday, May 15, 2009
Grandma Noni
My Grandma Noni is now finally at peace and in Heaven. For the past 3 years, anytime I saw her she would tell me "the next time you see me, it'll be in Heaven" She was ready to go Home for a while, but her body just took so long to shut down. Finally, on Thursday morning she went to the arms of Jesus. I am happy for her because she is now at peace and even though her death was expected, it's still hard. She was a sweet lady who loved her family and God with all of her heart. We will miss you Grandma. 
Monday, May 11, 2009
What a Difference a Week Makes!
On my last post I was not feeling my best......could you tell? But this week has gone much much better-as far as work goes, and right now, that's a huge part of my life. I switched trainers which I was not all too happy with at first but after this week at work, I'm very glad I did. I really liked my old trainer a lot-she was great but we were both perfectionists and that is so very hard to work under. I was stressing a lot and am now on anxiety pills....but this week is so different. I dont know if its the pills kicking in or the trainer switch. I am actually enjoying going to work and dont dread it like I was before. Today was my Friday and I was actually bummed I dont get to go back for 3 more days! Funny how things change! My week was a busy one though-some pretty tough phone calls that really drained me. But it was good and I got a lot of practice with my multi-tasking skills. Thankfully today was a very slow day because we both needed a "breather" day.
Today was kinda a hard day though-I found out today that my Grandma took a turn for the worse and probably wont make it through the night. She is 96 years old and has lived a good life. The last few years have been hard though-especially this last year. Her body is very slowly shutting down-I'm sad to be losing her but I am happy that she knows Jesus and is going Home!!
It was a bitter sweet kind of Mothers Day-lots of emotions. I was emotionally tired from work and sad for Grandma but am so thankful for the family that God has given me! They are all so good to me!!
Today was kinda a hard day though-I found out today that my Grandma took a turn for the worse and probably wont make it through the night. She is 96 years old and has lived a good life. The last few years have been hard though-especially this last year. Her body is very slowly shutting down-I'm sad to be losing her but I am happy that she knows Jesus and is going Home!!
It was a bitter sweet kind of Mothers Day-lots of emotions. I was emotionally tired from work and sad for Grandma but am so thankful for the family that God has given me! They are all so good to me!!
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
In a Nutshell
It's been a long while since I've posted anything so I thought I should write something. Really, not much has been going on. Things are pretty good....hard, but good-I think.
Actually, the last few months have been pretty rocky, but we are still staying strong as a couple and a family.
My job has been so stressful and I've developed a new sense of anxiety. It's been so bad that I've had to go visit the Dr and be put on anxiety meds. I'm also trying not to drink regular coffee on my work days. I don't like the feeling of anxiety. My heart pounds, my stomach hurts, my head hurts......it's not fun. The job itself is not that hard, it's the training part. I really like my trainer, but she is a perfectionist which makes it kinda hard to work under. This week I'm switching trainers and my new trainer is more laid back, Friday was my first day with her and hopefully things go like they did then. If so, then this job seems doable. The other stress trigger for me it that my hearing is causing me a problem at work. I talked to the Dr about it last week, and he sent me to an audiologist today. It turns out I do have significant hearing loss and I was told I would benefit from a hearing aid. Problem is, my insurance wont cover hearing aids and they are very expensive! Wow. I guess hearing loss runs in my family. Anyway, I'm not really sure what to do with this information-do I tell my supervisors? I don't know. I'm praying that if I'm suppose to say anything, God will give me the opportunity to. The job is kinda fun when I'm having a good day...I really do like it. June 1st through the 17Th, I go to Academy in Salem, OR. I'm excited for that!!
Bills job is going good. I appreciate him so much! He works so hard and is doing pretty good considering the economy stuff going on. Speaking of economy, his income was cut 10%. Ouch! Even though this hurts, both of us have a sense of peace and are not really worried.
In April we were able to pay off two more credit cards!! Yippee!! It's a good feeling to have those gone. We still have three more to go-but they are our bigger ones. It might be a while till those are gone. But 3 is better than 8, right?? :)
We are working on building up our savings again since we've depleted it with car repairs and a new water heater. That's OK though...we were so thankful that we actually had the money in our account to pay cash for those things.
The boys are doing well. Elliot is still playing baseball and we love watching him. They are so cute out there! Riley is not doing a sport right now-I think it would throw me over the edge if I had 2 kids in a sport right now. Too much!! But he is playing violin. He's actually getting pretty good at it. A couple weeks ago he had his first recital-he did really well.
Brady is already getting ready for football. A couple times a week, he is doing a strength and agility training. I can already see some results-I think he is feeling better too.
Well, I guess that's been our life the past couple days. Nothing too exciting. Hope this all finds you well.
Actually, the last few months have been pretty rocky, but we are still staying strong as a couple and a family.
My job has been so stressful and I've developed a new sense of anxiety. It's been so bad that I've had to go visit the Dr and be put on anxiety meds. I'm also trying not to drink regular coffee on my work days. I don't like the feeling of anxiety. My heart pounds, my stomach hurts, my head hurts......it's not fun. The job itself is not that hard, it's the training part. I really like my trainer, but she is a perfectionist which makes it kinda hard to work under. This week I'm switching trainers and my new trainer is more laid back, Friday was my first day with her and hopefully things go like they did then. If so, then this job seems doable. The other stress trigger for me it that my hearing is causing me a problem at work. I talked to the Dr about it last week, and he sent me to an audiologist today. It turns out I do have significant hearing loss and I was told I would benefit from a hearing aid. Problem is, my insurance wont cover hearing aids and they are very expensive! Wow. I guess hearing loss runs in my family. Anyway, I'm not really sure what to do with this information-do I tell my supervisors? I don't know. I'm praying that if I'm suppose to say anything, God will give me the opportunity to. The job is kinda fun when I'm having a good day...I really do like it. June 1st through the 17Th, I go to Academy in Salem, OR. I'm excited for that!!
Bills job is going good. I appreciate him so much! He works so hard and is doing pretty good considering the economy stuff going on. Speaking of economy, his income was cut 10%. Ouch! Even though this hurts, both of us have a sense of peace and are not really worried.
In April we were able to pay off two more credit cards!! Yippee!! It's a good feeling to have those gone. We still have three more to go-but they are our bigger ones. It might be a while till those are gone. But 3 is better than 8, right?? :)
We are working on building up our savings again since we've depleted it with car repairs and a new water heater. That's OK though...we were so thankful that we actually had the money in our account to pay cash for those things.
The boys are doing well. Elliot is still playing baseball and we love watching him. They are so cute out there! Riley is not doing a sport right now-I think it would throw me over the edge if I had 2 kids in a sport right now. Too much!! But he is playing violin. He's actually getting pretty good at it. A couple weeks ago he had his first recital-he did really well.
Brady is already getting ready for football. A couple times a week, he is doing a strength and agility training. I can already see some results-I think he is feeling better too.
Well, I guess that's been our life the past couple days. Nothing too exciting. Hope this all finds you well.
Friday, April 10, 2009
Signs of Spring!!
Spring is here!!
Here are a some of what is blooming in our yard right now. I cant take any credit for any of these beautiful flowers and dont even know what any of them are called, but arent they just beautiful?
Thankfully it rains a lot over here so my flowers get watered....I dont have much of a green thumb and tend to kill plants and flowers. 
This is my favorite time of year! This is a picture of the tree in our front yard. It only stays like this for a few weeks so this year I actually got a picture of it!! It's so pretty right now.
First Baseball game
Last Saturday was Elliot's first baseball game.....I love watching my kids play sports. Elliot is the only one playing baseball this year-which in some ways is nice, but I really do miss watching Brady play. I think he is regretting his decision of not playing this year. Here are a few pictures of Elliot first game.
Monday, March 30, 2009
Update
Not much has happened since last time I posted. Like most other people right now, things are super tight. These next few months are going to be difficult financially for us..my income went down a bit because of insurance starting for me in April and people aren't spending as much money right now so Bills numbers at work aren't huge....But,he is working so hard. I love him and appreciate him so very much. He is such a great provider for our family! We had another appointment with our financial counselor and we are going to be changing up a couple things to bring in a few hundred more dollars a month for a while. With all that is going on, we cant complain. We both have jobs right now!
My new job is going OK. Bill asked me when am I going to say that it's going great? When I'm out of training!!! So, maybe not for another 5-9 months. About a month and a half ago, I was told that I was going to "hit a wall" at work. I was so determined not to hit that wall and prayed against it, but I realized last Tuesday, I in fact hit that wall. The last two or three weeks I've been feeling so burdened and dreading going to work. I've had stomach aches and have been on the verge of tears. I was feeling SO stretched and wondering if I was going to make it through training?? Last Tuesday I made a stupid mistake....and I was embarrassed and mad at myself because I knew that I messed up. I ended up crying. I'm not as an emotional person as I used to be....I rarely cry any more, especially around people I don't know real well yet. But I just lost it. My trainer and I went outside to get my head clear and after a while I went back in and did totally fine. I think I needed to get that out of my system! My biggest road block right now is myself. I beat myself up so badly over the mistakes I make. Everyone makes these mistakes-it's just a part of the process of learning this job. But I do have to say, that so far it's the hardest job I've ever had. This week has been better although my stomach was in knots a little today until I was there for about an hour. Not sure why?? I need to get over that because it affects my job when I'm like that.
So, I guess I could use some prayer for my job. Apparently I'm doing OK and there are not any major problems. I need to learn to let go of my mistakes and just move on.
I'm starting to fall asleep while typing so I'm going to end this. Hope you are all doing great. If there is anything I can be praying for any one reading, leave a comment and I will pray for you during the next weeks.
My new job is going OK. Bill asked me when am I going to say that it's going great? When I'm out of training!!! So, maybe not for another 5-9 months. About a month and a half ago, I was told that I was going to "hit a wall" at work. I was so determined not to hit that wall and prayed against it, but I realized last Tuesday, I in fact hit that wall. The last two or three weeks I've been feeling so burdened and dreading going to work. I've had stomach aches and have been on the verge of tears. I was feeling SO stretched and wondering if I was going to make it through training?? Last Tuesday I made a stupid mistake....and I was embarrassed and mad at myself because I knew that I messed up. I ended up crying. I'm not as an emotional person as I used to be....I rarely cry any more, especially around people I don't know real well yet. But I just lost it. My trainer and I went outside to get my head clear and after a while I went back in and did totally fine. I think I needed to get that out of my system! My biggest road block right now is myself. I beat myself up so badly over the mistakes I make. Everyone makes these mistakes-it's just a part of the process of learning this job. But I do have to say, that so far it's the hardest job I've ever had. This week has been better although my stomach was in knots a little today until I was there for about an hour. Not sure why?? I need to get over that because it affects my job when I'm like that.
So, I guess I could use some prayer for my job. Apparently I'm doing OK and there are not any major problems. I need to learn to let go of my mistakes and just move on.
I'm starting to fall asleep while typing so I'm going to end this. Hope you are all doing great. If there is anything I can be praying for any one reading, leave a comment and I will pray for you during the next weeks.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
What a Week!
This has been one of those weeks! I dont know what is up...maybe the full moon this week? I had conflict with a couple people this week. I hate conflict and do what I can to live at peace with everyone, but am realizing that some things are totally out of my control. But still it is so frustrating and after realizing I have had conflict with 3 people...yes 3 people this week I felt so overwhelmed!! I have absolutely no control over any of it-cant do anything to fix any of it either. Anyway, at about the same time that I was having my pity party and feeling overwhelmed, Bill called me from the road. I knew something big had happened by the tone of his voice and I couldnt wait to hear what it was. By this point I was feeling that I needed to hear some good news. I couldnt prepare myself for what I was about to hear-Bill was offered a job in Spokane. What?? I was speechless! I couldnt tell if I was excited or scared or sad. So many mixed emotions went through my mind and when it really came down to it, I wasnt sure if I really wanted to move. Weird huh? I am in awe of how things have changed over the course of 3 years. On the 26th, it'll be 3 years since we've moved here. Time has flown by and we have gone through some major tough times but we have also grown individually, as a family and as a couple over here. God knew what He was doing when He moved us over here. Duh! But I remember when I wished for a job offer to happen...we would have jumped at any opportunity to move back! We miss our friends and church so much. But God has truly blessed us over here too. He has given us some wonderful friends a great church and a passion for our family that we've not had before. We have grown and are still growing and we dont feel that it what God wants us to do at this point, so Bill declined the offer. As I sit and contemplate all this, I cannot believe the change in me since we've been here. When we moved I came kicking and screaming. I was a brat! I cried a lot...probably too much and did not handle the move like I should have. God is so good. I am so thankful of all our friends-here and Spokane-that God has given us. I am so thankful that God is always at work in our hearts and can change us.
So even though we will not be moving, we do plan to make a weekend trip sometime this summer over to Spokane to visit all our friends. Ill keep my Spokane friends posted on when we are coming over. We miss you all!
So even though we will not be moving, we do plan to make a weekend trip sometime this summer over to Spokane to visit all our friends. Ill keep my Spokane friends posted on when we are coming over. We miss you all!
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Being prepared
For years, we have half heartedly tried to build up a savings account. Since meeting with our financial counselor, our first baby step (Dave Ramsey) was to put $1000 into savings for EMERGENCY'S ONLY! We finally got our savings built up and then our water heater went out. For the first time in our married life, we didn't worry over how we were going to pay to get something fixed! There was no stress, no burden-we didn't have to borrow from family. We actually had the money to fix our problem! What an amazing feeling that was!!
Just a couple of weeks prior to this, we had a discussion of what an actual emergency would look like. It all came down to if something happens that is unforeseen it would be an emergency. I am pretty sure a hot water heater not working would count as an emergency!
I'm so thankful what God is doing in our lives. It's so great when we can see His hand at work.
Just a couple of weeks prior to this, we had a discussion of what an actual emergency would look like. It all came down to if something happens that is unforeseen it would be an emergency. I am pretty sure a hot water heater not working would count as an emergency!
I'm so thankful what God is doing in our lives. It's so great when we can see His hand at work.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
One More Down!
Monday, we were able to pay off another credit card!! We are both so excited but know we still have a ways to go. So that's one down, 5 to go! (two more that will be gone by the end of April!) WooHoo!!
Things have been going pretty good lately. Another thing we were able to do is to get our yard cleaned up finally! This winter has been so hard on it, and I'm not much for yard work so we hired someone. I know, its an extra expense but it sure takes off a HUGE burden. I can now walk outside and not cringe at the sight of our yard!
My new job is going pretty well....I still have a lot more to learn and to master, but at least now I can talk on the radio and answer phones without shaking! There was a point were after a phone call my hands would be shaking so much. It must have been because of the adrenalin?? Thursday night I am taking a first aid course and next month I will be getting recertified for CPR.
The boys are doing great too. Brady is starting to get back in shape to prepare for football and Elliot will be playing base ball this year! He's so excited. Riley is opting for Kung Fu. Both Brady and Riley are playing an instrument. Riley is learning violin and Brady is taking drum lessons. They are actually doing pretty good.
Also, today is Elliot's birthday! My baby is 7 now. I still picture him as a 3 year old. He is growing up so very fast!! He's such a fun kid to have around-he has a great sense of humor and loves his brothers! He wants to be just like they are.
Happy Birthday Elliot!!
Things have been going pretty good lately. Another thing we were able to do is to get our yard cleaned up finally! This winter has been so hard on it, and I'm not much for yard work so we hired someone. I know, its an extra expense but it sure takes off a HUGE burden. I can now walk outside and not cringe at the sight of our yard!
My new job is going pretty well....I still have a lot more to learn and to master, but at least now I can talk on the radio and answer phones without shaking! There was a point were after a phone call my hands would be shaking so much. It must have been because of the adrenalin?? Thursday night I am taking a first aid course and next month I will be getting recertified for CPR.
The boys are doing great too. Brady is starting to get back in shape to prepare for football and Elliot will be playing base ball this year! He's so excited. Riley is opting for Kung Fu. Both Brady and Riley are playing an instrument. Riley is learning violin and Brady is taking drum lessons. They are actually doing pretty good.
Also, today is Elliot's birthday! My baby is 7 now. I still picture him as a 3 year old. He is growing up so very fast!! He's such a fun kid to have around-he has a great sense of humor and loves his brothers! He wants to be just like they are.
Happy Birthday Elliot!!
Sunday, February 8, 2009
In Progress
I have been thinking about this blog lately and wondering if I should make a theme for it...for example, I've been reading other blogs, some are for updates on family life (which initially mine was going to do that) others are about tracking their pregnancies,health problems etc. So, since right now we are in the process of getting out of debt, I was thinking that I could track our journey, good and bad on here. If it bores you, you don't have to read it. :) This will be good for Bill and I to look back and remember our journey. Where we are now, where we came from and where we hope to be. My greatest hope would be that God would use this process to help someone else through a similar situation.
Finances have been our biggest struggle throughout our whole marriage. It's amazing to see how destructive debt and bad spending habits can be to a family. We started our marriage off with debt and have been going deeper and deeper since then. Over the years we have tried different budgets and programs but have been unable to stay on track for more than one week. I think that Bill and I had to go through a process in our marriage to get to where we are now. We have had some really tough times where one or both of us didn't think we'd make it through, but miraculously God brought us through those times. It wasn't until last year that we really started working together on things. We are finally on the same page! It took a lot to get us here, but we are here.....I know we have a lot of work to do still, but this is a good starting point.
If you've read my earlier posts, you know we are seeing a financial counselor certified through Dave Ramsey-it is so great for us to have someone that we are accountable to and that guides us through some decisions and helps us stay realistic with our finances.
About a year ago, things were really tight for us as usual but we were having a hard time paying all of our bills so we decided to go through a settlement company for our credit cards. It took our payment from about $1100 to $460 a month. Although this helped a little with our monthly expenses, we were not paying ANY of our credit cards-see our $460 payment went to the settlement company in a reserve and as soon as we had enough money in our reserve, they were going to negotiate with our credit card companies (all 7 of them) at one point or another and settle at about half of what we owed. At first, we thought this would work out great...one account that we owed about $1800 on settled with us for $512. We were so excited to get one out of the way! But, even though this seemed to be working we knew this was not for us and we would not recommend it to anyone. It was like we were trying to take the easy way out but really it just caused more problems. The letters and phone calls started coming again and they were not good. So, we decided that we were going to start dealing with them on our own and either start making payments again or just try and settle on a couple ourselves (thank goodness for tax refunds!)
So, as of today, we have 6 cards to pay off totaling around $20000. That is a huge amount but sadly it was a lot bigger than that just a few years ago. This week, Bill was able to make a few calls and set up some payment arrangements and by the end of April, Lord willing, over half of that will be gone! If all goes as planned, by the end of the year, we will be credit card debt free...(then it's on to the cars). Time will tell if this all works out according to plan-I'm hoping and believing it will since now Bill and I are on the same page with this and we are making our decisions very prayerfully.
That's our beginning in a nutshell and until we are out of debt including the cars, I will use this post mainly for updating on this process we are going through. One more thing is that this all wouldn't be possible if God wasn't part of this. We have made so many mistakes and have wandered so much but God is so good. His compassions NEVER fail. They are new EVERY morning and HE is faithful!
Finances have been our biggest struggle throughout our whole marriage. It's amazing to see how destructive debt and bad spending habits can be to a family. We started our marriage off with debt and have been going deeper and deeper since then. Over the years we have tried different budgets and programs but have been unable to stay on track for more than one week. I think that Bill and I had to go through a process in our marriage to get to where we are now. We have had some really tough times where one or both of us didn't think we'd make it through, but miraculously God brought us through those times. It wasn't until last year that we really started working together on things. We are finally on the same page! It took a lot to get us here, but we are here.....I know we have a lot of work to do still, but this is a good starting point.
If you've read my earlier posts, you know we are seeing a financial counselor certified through Dave Ramsey-it is so great for us to have someone that we are accountable to and that guides us through some decisions and helps us stay realistic with our finances.
About a year ago, things were really tight for us as usual but we were having a hard time paying all of our bills so we decided to go through a settlement company for our credit cards. It took our payment from about $1100 to $460 a month. Although this helped a little with our monthly expenses, we were not paying ANY of our credit cards-see our $460 payment went to the settlement company in a reserve and as soon as we had enough money in our reserve, they were going to negotiate with our credit card companies (all 7 of them) at one point or another and settle at about half of what we owed. At first, we thought this would work out great...one account that we owed about $1800 on settled with us for $512. We were so excited to get one out of the way! But, even though this seemed to be working we knew this was not for us and we would not recommend it to anyone. It was like we were trying to take the easy way out but really it just caused more problems. The letters and phone calls started coming again and they were not good. So, we decided that we were going to start dealing with them on our own and either start making payments again or just try and settle on a couple ourselves (thank goodness for tax refunds!)
So, as of today, we have 6 cards to pay off totaling around $20000. That is a huge amount but sadly it was a lot bigger than that just a few years ago. This week, Bill was able to make a few calls and set up some payment arrangements and by the end of April, Lord willing, over half of that will be gone! If all goes as planned, by the end of the year, we will be credit card debt free...(then it's on to the cars). Time will tell if this all works out according to plan-I'm hoping and believing it will since now Bill and I are on the same page with this and we are making our decisions very prayerfully.
That's our beginning in a nutshell and until we are out of debt including the cars, I will use this post mainly for updating on this process we are going through. One more thing is that this all wouldn't be possible if God wasn't part of this. We have made so many mistakes and have wandered so much but God is so good. His compassions NEVER fail. They are new EVERY morning and HE is faithful!
Monday, February 2, 2009
Quick update
It's been a while again since I've posted last. This is why I hesitated in the first place to do my own blog-because I didnt think I would be able to think of things to write. I'm not a writer like some. I go onto other blogs and read these wonderful, interesting stories with so much detail and energy and then try to write something on my blog but nothing comes up! Maybe the more I try, the better I get?
Anyway, things are going well in the Beckham household. I am loving my job and most days think I'm doing ok. I love what I am doing and for the most part, everyday there is something different. I am still loving my schedule but have found that I have to be careful on my days off to make sure I dont over commit my self to anything.
Bill and I are still doing good with staying on track financially for the most part. We had a major bump in the road this weekend and not sure on the outcome of that but both of us has a peace over this whole thing. God is so good. It's amazing the difference from right now and a year ago. If our "bump" had happened this time last year, I would have sunken low into a depression and had the feeling of a ton of bricks on my shoulder but things have changed so much over this year (another story that I may tell at a later time) that when this "bump" happened, I felt nothing but joy....only the joy that God can give.
Anyway, that's all for my post this time...maybe next time I'll even have some pictures to include!
Anyway, things are going well in the Beckham household. I am loving my job and most days think I'm doing ok. I love what I am doing and for the most part, everyday there is something different. I am still loving my schedule but have found that I have to be careful on my days off to make sure I dont over commit my self to anything.
Bill and I are still doing good with staying on track financially for the most part. We had a major bump in the road this weekend and not sure on the outcome of that but both of us has a peace over this whole thing. God is so good. It's amazing the difference from right now and a year ago. If our "bump" had happened this time last year, I would have sunken low into a depression and had the feeling of a ton of bricks on my shoulder but things have changed so much over this year (another story that I may tell at a later time) that when this "bump" happened, I felt nothing but joy....only the joy that God can give.
Anyway, that's all for my post this time...maybe next time I'll even have some pictures to include!
Friday, January 16, 2009
Patience
I was on a quest today to find a Wii Fit. I went to seven different stores today. SEVEN! You'd think out of that many stores at least one of them could have had a Wii Fit somewhere! Nope. I could have gone to more but ran out of time (my son informed me I should've gone up to Washington too)... All seven of them were OUT and didn't know when they were getting more. Ugh. Right before Christmas I was at Fred Meyers and Wal Mart and saw quite a few of them so I thought right now would be a great time to find one since it's after Christmas. But not so....I guess everyone else had the same idea that I did. As I was driving home from my search I called home and talked with my kids, and one certain child was very disappointed that I could not find one and went on to blame Oregon for the stores not having any Wii Fits and he wanted to move to China!? (Or Spokane, because of course, Spokane has everything we need) ;)
I tried teaching him about patience and how good things come to those who wait, but it appeared that he wasn't having any of that. Imagine that....
Oh well, at least I tried.
I tried teaching him about patience and how good things come to those who wait, but it appeared that he wasn't having any of that. Imagine that....
Oh well, at least I tried.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Goodness....it's been a while since I've updated my blog so I thought I should just write a quick update.
The snow is gone...just like that! It's amazing how quickly it came and then how fast it melted. I love the snow and miss it, but don't miss driving in it or having the kids miss school because of it. But,thankfully, the kids are back in school! I keep wondering what the first week of summer will be like since they missed a whole week in December due to the weather. I wonder if they will extend school for that week or not? I wouldn't mind on less week of summer....hey, I'm for year round school anyway. :)
As much as the kids whined about having to go back, I think after a 3 week break, all 3 of them were secretly happy to return. This school year is already halfway over....where has the time gone?
I started my new job and am loving it. Although at times I feel just a little overwhelmed by the amount of stuff I have to learn and sometimes feel unsure of myself but I guess that's to be expected in a job like this. I think I'm really going to like my new job and my new co workers. I do LOVE my new schedule! I feel spoiled...well, blessed with this schedule that has been given me. I don't have to wake up with an alarm clock right now-I wake up between 10 and 11 and have my mornings to myself. My house has been staying clean and organized and my laundry has been caught up! I love it. Lots of time to have my devotional times, read my books and do errands if I have to. Bill has been awesome! He is waking up with the kids, getting them ready and on the bus for me-it's been such a big help! I am so blessed with such a wonderful husband!
We are doing pretty good on our financial stuff....we weren't as good in December as we were suppose to be, but we are back on track now. We see our financial counselor again this Friday. The accountability is great and we need it. We did end up paying off one of our credit cards in December and got some more money put in savings this month. I cant tell you how good it feels to be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel (and its not a train coming!!) One big thing we did was completely cancel cable! That has been great in saving money and our family time. We've been playing more board games with each other and Brady and I have been doing puzzles together.
But, I have a feeling that we are entering a more busy season. Baseball sign ups are this month. Thankfully only Riley and Elliot want to play this year. The fields are all at different locations so it makes it hard to figure out who is going to what game on what day etc.......it's fun though. I love watching my kids play sports, so it's all worth it.
That's about it for now....hopefully I'll do better about keeping my updates going.
The snow is gone...just like that! It's amazing how quickly it came and then how fast it melted. I love the snow and miss it, but don't miss driving in it or having the kids miss school because of it. But,thankfully, the kids are back in school! I keep wondering what the first week of summer will be like since they missed a whole week in December due to the weather. I wonder if they will extend school for that week or not? I wouldn't mind on less week of summer....hey, I'm for year round school anyway. :)
As much as the kids whined about having to go back, I think after a 3 week break, all 3 of them were secretly happy to return. This school year is already halfway over....where has the time gone?
I started my new job and am loving it. Although at times I feel just a little overwhelmed by the amount of stuff I have to learn and sometimes feel unsure of myself but I guess that's to be expected in a job like this. I think I'm really going to like my new job and my new co workers. I do LOVE my new schedule! I feel spoiled...well, blessed with this schedule that has been given me. I don't have to wake up with an alarm clock right now-I wake up between 10 and 11 and have my mornings to myself. My house has been staying clean and organized and my laundry has been caught up! I love it. Lots of time to have my devotional times, read my books and do errands if I have to. Bill has been awesome! He is waking up with the kids, getting them ready and on the bus for me-it's been such a big help! I am so blessed with such a wonderful husband!
We are doing pretty good on our financial stuff....we weren't as good in December as we were suppose to be, but we are back on track now. We see our financial counselor again this Friday. The accountability is great and we need it. We did end up paying off one of our credit cards in December and got some more money put in savings this month. I cant tell you how good it feels to be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel (and its not a train coming!!) One big thing we did was completely cancel cable! That has been great in saving money and our family time. We've been playing more board games with each other and Brady and I have been doing puzzles together.
But, I have a feeling that we are entering a more busy season. Baseball sign ups are this month. Thankfully only Riley and Elliot want to play this year. The fields are all at different locations so it makes it hard to figure out who is going to what game on what day etc.......it's fun though. I love watching my kids play sports, so it's all worth it.
That's about it for now....hopefully I'll do better about keeping my updates going.
Monday, January 5, 2009
Sacrifice
I found a cool video I wanted to post on here, but had trouble making things work, so here's the info instead. Go to www.godtube.com and find the video, The Bridge. It's about 6 minutes long, but worth it.
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