Monday, March 30, 2009


Not much has happened since last time I posted. Like most other people right now, things are super tight. These next few months are going to be difficult financially for income went down a bit because of insurance starting for me in April and people aren't spending as much money right now so Bills numbers at work aren't huge....But,he is working so hard. I love him and appreciate him so very much. He is such a great provider for our family! We had another appointment with our financial counselor and we are going to be changing up a couple things to bring in a few hundred more dollars a month for a while. With all that is going on, we cant complain. We both have jobs right now!
My new job is going OK. Bill asked me when am I going to say that it's going great? When I'm out of training!!! So, maybe not for another 5-9 months. About a month and a half ago, I was told that I was going to "hit a wall" at work. I was so determined not to hit that wall and prayed against it, but I realized last Tuesday, I in fact hit that wall. The last two or three weeks I've been feeling so burdened and dreading going to work. I've had stomach aches and have been on the verge of tears. I was feeling SO stretched and wondering if I was going to make it through training?? Last Tuesday I made a stupid mistake....and I was embarrassed and mad at myself because I knew that I messed up. I ended up crying. I'm not as an emotional person as I used to be....I rarely cry any more, especially around people I don't know real well yet. But I just lost it. My trainer and I went outside to get my head clear and after a while I went back in and did totally fine. I think I needed to get that out of my system! My biggest road block right now is myself. I beat myself up so badly over the mistakes I make. Everyone makes these mistakes-it's just a part of the process of learning this job. But I do have to say, that so far it's the hardest job I've ever had. This week has been better although my stomach was in knots a little today until I was there for about an hour. Not sure why?? I need to get over that because it affects my job when I'm like that.
So, I guess I could use some prayer for my job. Apparently I'm doing OK and there are not any major problems. I need to learn to let go of my mistakes and just move on.
I'm starting to fall asleep while typing so I'm going to end this. Hope you are all doing great. If there is anything I can be praying for any one reading, leave a comment and I will pray for you during the next weeks.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

What a Week!

This has been one of those weeks! I dont know what is up...maybe the full moon this week? I had conflict with a couple people this week. I hate conflict and do what I can to live at peace with everyone, but am realizing that some things are totally out of my control. But still it is so frustrating and after realizing I have had conflict with 3 people...yes 3 people this week I felt so overwhelmed!! I have absolutely no control over any of it-cant do anything to fix any of it either. Anyway, at about the same time that I was having my pity party and feeling overwhelmed, Bill called me from the road. I knew something big had happened by the tone of his voice and I couldnt wait to hear what it was. By this point I was feeling that I needed to hear some good news. I couldnt prepare myself for what I was about to hear-Bill was offered a job in Spokane. What?? I was speechless! I couldnt tell if I was excited or scared or sad. So many mixed emotions went through my mind and when it really came down to it, I wasnt sure if I really wanted to move. Weird huh? I am in awe of how things have changed over the course of 3 years. On the 26th, it'll be 3 years since we've moved here. Time has flown by and we have gone through some major tough times but we have also grown individually, as a family and as a couple over here. God knew what He was doing when He moved us over here. Duh! But I remember when I wished for a job offer to happen...we would have jumped at any opportunity to move back! We miss our friends and church so much. But God has truly blessed us over here too. He has given us some wonderful friends a great church and a passion for our family that we've not had before. We have grown and are still growing and we dont feel that it what God wants us to do at this point, so Bill declined the offer. As I sit and contemplate all this, I cannot believe the change in me since we've been here. When we moved I came kicking and screaming. I was a brat! I cried a lot...probably too much and did not handle the move like I should have. God is so good. I am so thankful of all our friends-here and Spokane-that God has given us. I am so thankful that God is always at work in our hearts and can change us.
So even though we will not be moving, we do plan to make a weekend trip sometime this summer over to Spokane to visit all our friends. Ill keep my Spokane friends posted on when we are coming over. We miss you all!