Saturday, August 15, 2009

Idle Time is NO good!

The first two weeks of me not working-I did great. Organized my house, had a yard sale and got to go camping with two girlfriends from work. I had so much fun!!
The day after I got back from camping I hit a major low......I'm 3 days into it now. It's been so long that I've felt this way and I really don't like it. The first day was OK-I laid in bed and watched re-runs of Little House on the Prairie. Those are the best.
ANYWAY,
I keep wondering if I did the right thing. It's better for my family is what I keep hearing-this job is hard on families and friends. I liked the job-well, most of it. I loved the people I worked with-I tend to get attached easily to people which is probably one of the reasons why I'm having a hard time. I feel like I failed. I have never failed at a job. I usually do good at things-what happened? Maybe if I would have asked for a couple weeks off and got back on my anxiety meds things would have been OK? And, by the way, what was with that anxiety anyway? Where in the world did it come from? NEVER have I had an issue with it like I did at this job----it wasn't the nature of the job that made me anxious-but the training aspect of it. Weird.
So, anyway, these thoughts and more have been going through my mind over the last few days. I think I could have made it-just needed more time? Did I make the wrong decision? Doesn't matter anyway since I cant take it back. Ugh. I need peace. I need to know I did the right thing and need to be able to forgive myself if I didn't.

1 comment:

Julagay Blog said...

Hey Stephanie... I can relate to being so hard on yourself... If you had that much anxiety then it seems it was a big message that it wasn't where you were supposed to be. Try to relax and be ready for another direction on where you are to go now. You are loved!