Monday, March 30, 2009


Not much has happened since last time I posted. Like most other people right now, things are super tight. These next few months are going to be difficult financially for income went down a bit because of insurance starting for me in April and people aren't spending as much money right now so Bills numbers at work aren't huge....But,he is working so hard. I love him and appreciate him so very much. He is such a great provider for our family! We had another appointment with our financial counselor and we are going to be changing up a couple things to bring in a few hundred more dollars a month for a while. With all that is going on, we cant complain. We both have jobs right now!
My new job is going OK. Bill asked me when am I going to say that it's going great? When I'm out of training!!! So, maybe not for another 5-9 months. About a month and a half ago, I was told that I was going to "hit a wall" at work. I was so determined not to hit that wall and prayed against it, but I realized last Tuesday, I in fact hit that wall. The last two or three weeks I've been feeling so burdened and dreading going to work. I've had stomach aches and have been on the verge of tears. I was feeling SO stretched and wondering if I was going to make it through training?? Last Tuesday I made a stupid mistake....and I was embarrassed and mad at myself because I knew that I messed up. I ended up crying. I'm not as an emotional person as I used to be....I rarely cry any more, especially around people I don't know real well yet. But I just lost it. My trainer and I went outside to get my head clear and after a while I went back in and did totally fine. I think I needed to get that out of my system! My biggest road block right now is myself. I beat myself up so badly over the mistakes I make. Everyone makes these mistakes-it's just a part of the process of learning this job. But I do have to say, that so far it's the hardest job I've ever had. This week has been better although my stomach was in knots a little today until I was there for about an hour. Not sure why?? I need to get over that because it affects my job when I'm like that.
So, I guess I could use some prayer for my job. Apparently I'm doing OK and there are not any major problems. I need to learn to let go of my mistakes and just move on.
I'm starting to fall asleep while typing so I'm going to end this. Hope you are all doing great. If there is anything I can be praying for any one reading, leave a comment and I will pray for you during the next weeks.

1 comment:

mholgate said...

Stephanie, sweet friend, I will be praying for you! Hang in there! You are doing great. You are taking in so much information right now. Give it time to settle in. Love you!